Pretty speechless actually.. But I need to type something to stop myself from thinking too much into what happened and to stop blaming myself for it.
Just took another pill. Yeah I’m officially down with flu, started yesterday? Monday? I’ve no idea. Just knew that I’m glad the tissue box was beside me while I was rushing work in office today. And to say that I was talking about revitalised in my previous entry. Big contrast. But yeah. Wasn’t feel good with the flu, and things was made worse when something happened in the day. Felt so down, that I left office after clearing as much work as I could, strolling around aimlessly. Didn’t feel any better when my feet brought me to Raffles City. Neither did it help when I blasted the radio on my mp3 player.
It felt so bad, that I didn’t know who I could call. The only choice I had was to walk and think what went wrong. Until my feet brought me back home. No I didn’t walk back home all the way from Raffles City, in case you are wondering. Though I almost took bus 16 to East Coast Park.
Oh well.. not that I felt any better after typing it out. And yes my flu got worse.
I need another break. I can’t handle what I’m facing now. I can’t say I’m on the verge of tears, trying to act normal as if nothing had happened.
It didn’t feel any better when I didn’t get the kind of response I want. :'(
Might have overworked myself the past few weeks, without a really good rest during weekends as well.
I knew flu was coming, popped medicine on Sun night. Was it the strong medicine, or was it me who’s too tired? I couldn’t wake up on Mon morning despite a good 8hr of sleep. Stoned the whole morning in office, before I decided to take the afternoon off and head home to sleep. 5 hrs of afternoon nap. Felt so refreshed when I woke up at 7pm. Having enough sleep really work wonders. Though it’s not enough to compensate what had been lost for the past 2 months, I’m still thankful for an understanding boss for not treating my “off” as leave, but as time off for the hardwork put in instead, thankful for him for letting me have a good rest.
I’m seriously glad I chose to come back here and work. Though I can only compare with the hell-company I was at prior to this current one, I still believe I made the right choice. A caring & understanding boss isn’t easy to find.
I’m happy with where I am now. Learning what I want to learn, applying what I learnt on the job. It’s getting more interesting when I’ve learnt how to multitask more. More projects getting on hand, some of which are on stuff that I’ve not touched on before. Good learning experience, I’d say. Slow but steady.
It’s only when you feel a sense of belonging would you want to put in more effort in what you’re doing. I believe it’s something I’ve mentioned before. Mentioned to my boss that I’m stressed in performing better than what I’ve already done, he gave me this phrase: we’re too blessed to be stressed. Which is true in a way. How stress can you be, when you have no worries on having a roof above your head, having food to eat everyday, having clothes to wear.. =)
It’s time to gear up. I’ve never felt so revitalised as I’d felt the whole day today. I’m still energetic after clocking in 13hours of work (excluding lunch hour) today. Probably it’s the much needed nap that I had yesterday afteroon. -)