Category: Daily Ramblings

Why must you let me see you today? When I saw you at the bus interchange, I was stunned. Weren’t you supposed to be back only on Friday? Why are you in school today? I thought you didn’t tell me you’re back on purpose, ‘coz I’ve been fan2-ing you these days. That bus trip home was a very slow and terrible one. I don’t know why I felt this way, it was as if someone had stabbed a knife into me. I don’t know how to describe that feeling. Sad? Disappointed? I just felt so down. There’s no reason why I should be feeling this way, but I just couldn’t help it.

When I reached home this afternoon, I felt something amiss. No wonder I’d been feeling uneasy for the past 2 days. Something happened at home. Hai.. I understand my uncles’ concern about my family’s financial situation, and I’m really grateful to them for the thought of sponsoring my expenses. I didn’t accept their sponsorship for fear that my dad might be too stressful over not being able to support me financially. Though I know that my dad is very easy-going ( he can never get angry over a thing for a long period of time, and there’s where I inherited the genes from ;P ) and he doesn’t mind, I still took the sponsorships as loans.

For the first time in my life, my mum cried in front of me because of my dad. I’m not good at consoling people, all I could do at that time was to sit there and listen to what she had to say. My family had always been the envious of many people. My parents never quarrel ( not even once in the 24 years of my life ), or maybe I was just bo-chup about what’s happening at home. I’ve never heard them quarrel, nor do I know what kind of problems they have. It was actually when my mum told me this afternoon that I realised she had health problems. You can say I’m not very close to them, but I’m already trying my best. I’ve been brought up in a family where I’ve always respected my elders, and that they are always right. I always had this fear towards them ( my parents, aunts & uncles inclusive ), and am always afraid to talk to them. I guess it was because of my smallest uncle KS that I’ve started to open up to them. ( Yup he’s also the one who sponsored my hostel stay now ) I was shocked when my mum said my dad flared up that day. My dad is one who doesn’t get angry easily. Though we’ve still yet figured out the reason for his flaring up, I think I’ll just take one step at one time and see what I can do. I feel so blessed to have so many supporting aunts & uncles who are always so willing to help. ( Aunts & uncles from my mum’s side. My dad’s side aunts & uncles only care about themselves, won’t even care for their own siblings. ) Though they might now be very well-to-do, they are still so willing to help. Thank you ah yees & jiujius.

I can only hope that CNY will be a happy one for all of us. Will try my best even though I’m already not in the festive mood.

Today’s reunion dinner was a short one. Reached at 5.30.. everyone had already eaten. Sat at the dining table with Richard kor & his gf, plus my bro, 4th aunt n my mum. Was a super boring dinner.. Not everyone turned up as usual. I only have 1 elder cousin (from my dad’s side) and that’s Richard. The other cousins.. hai.. generation gap.. those in my age group nv turn up. Was so sian that I left one hour after I’m done with my meal.

With this family, I feel so lost. On the surface, it may seem that I’m close to them, but in actual fact I’m not. Dunno why.. The only people I’m close to is Richard, Aunt Elsie & Aunt Catherine. The rest are just hi & bye. It’s not as close-knitted as it should have been. Doesn’t matter anyway. I’ve already given up.

Reached back home just in time for dinner. Watched Huan Zhu Ge Ge (My Little Princess) on Channel 8, and can’t remember what else I watched on tv. In the glimpse of an eye, it’s already 11pm. Gosh.. I’ve only spent 4 hours at home today. Tomorrow gotta go grandma’s house for reunion dinner, which means I’m left with less than 20 hours left for me to enjoy the cosy-ness of my home. I shall try to make an effort to come home at least once or twice every week. Then I won’t be labelled as a “hotel guest”.

Chinese New Year is just a few days away. But I still can’t feel any CNY mood. It’s just another family gathering to me. Looking forward to meeting up with my valentine’s baby neice, who should be 1yr old this year. hee!

How should I describe my day? It was a short one, ‘coz I woke up only at 12 noon. Spent the whole afternoon typing minutes for the conference. My handwriting was so illegible that I had a hard time trying to decipher what I wrote. Haha.. That’s why I only managed to finish typing it an hour ago.

My mum went Chinatown with my sis. I was feeling lazy, so didn’t join them. Go there squeeze with people.. Can’t shop much also. Bro went out shopping.. Leaving me alone at home. Hai.. I come home only once a week leh.. Yesterday also.. All outside leaving me alone at home.. Might as well stay in school.. Though I miss my bed.. Haha!! Okok I’m contradicting myself 😛

I kinda hate my timetable.. 3 days I have lessons till 5.30 / 6pm. Wed I have yoga class till 7pm. Leaving only Friday where my lessons end at 1130. So busy.. My tutorials are piling up!! And I need at least 8 hours of sleep everyday, else I’ll have headaches.. *sob* Dying le.. This sem sure fail at least 1 module.. Have got a strong premonition about it.

My conference chairperson called to jio me for some YEC dinner @ Jurong East. ^^ Though it’s not very far, feel kinda wierd if I really go down.. Every1 I dunno leh.. Somemore by the time I reach, the event should be ending soon le.. Though my chair say he will wait lah.. But erm.. Dun wanna waste his time lah.. He gotta go back school for meeting. So ya.. I didn’t go.. Thanx Des for the invitation 🙂 I erm.. feel honoured. Jigg almost used a hammer to knock me for not going.. lol

I think I should sleep soon.. if I want to reach school in the morning tomorrow.. Yes it’s a Sunday.. Gotta go back wash clothes and finish wire-wrapping.. Lab on Monday.. :S

Thanks for accompanying me this evening. Sorry you had to wait for me ‘coz I need long transportation time to school. Thanks for the offer to hammer the person who pissed me off this afternoon. Though I know you said it to keep me entertained, it meant a lot. Thanks for listening to all my crap (I seriously wonder where all my crappiness came from.. It wasn’t the real me ). A good entertainer will never be successful without a good audience.

You made my day. Yes I know saying so many “thanks” is definitely not enough. If you get to read this entry, thanks again.

Talking about the person who pissed me off this afternoon.. Went down to Bt Panjang Plaza to report for work ( helping QH & RD to do canvassing ) @ 4pm sharp. Received a phone call from Mel the person in charge. “Have you reached BPP?” “Oh you’ve reached.. Wanted to ask you to report to Sun Plaza instead” “Nvm then” I’ve indicated CLEARLY that I’m working @ BPP, not elsewhere! And Sun Plaza is so FAR away!! Just because the 2 girls who were @ BPP for the morning shift didn’t want to get splitted up, I had to sacrifice my precious time to travel so FAR ? If not for the sake that I’m helping out with the canvassing, I’d have told you I don’t want to work anymore. You’re so disorganised. Everything should have been planned in advance. Made me rush home from school. Was already on-board the bus when I realised I didn’t pack my contact lens which you said it’s COMPULSORY not to wear specs. I alighted and WALKED a good 15mins walk along the ulu road back to my hall just for the lens. Then it was too late, had to take a cab home. WASTED my money! And I had to sacrifice my $8*6hrs (excluding the $10 cab fare) for today. After some discussion with my mum, I decided not to work for you anymore. It’s hard to imagine that such a hugh company can only afford 2 outfits for each outlet, and so many gals had to share that outfit (2 gals per session, 2 sessions a day) for 2 months without washing! OMG.. For hygiene purposes, I’ve made up my mind. Good luck to you. And sorry QH & RD..

Ya did I say I’m having rashes now? *sob* Rashes for 2 days le.. ARGH!!

Haha.. I don’t think I was drunk.. Drank only one third of the wine glass.. White wine.. Argh.. No more next time.. I hate the taste! LOL!

I’m really in one of my hua-chi mood again. *oops* Ya AGAIN.. WHY is it happening again ?!

Had a very crappy conversation with my WORLDview chairperson today. Half an hour worth of crappiness on the phone. Haha! Been ages since I had such a gd laugh 😉

Hmm did I mention I signed up for Yoga class? Went for the first lesson today. Not a bad experience, all slow motions but yet allows me to stretch my un-exercised muscles. Shiok. Feeling more refresh now. At the same time yesterday, I was already dead tired. Not bad.. shall work harder next week!

*oops* I’m in one of my hua-chi mood again.. Bah!! Think I’m getting drunk..

Happy New Year!! How did you guys spend the first day of 2005?

School’s reopening in 2 days’ time. ie I’ll be moving in to hall soon.. Not really looking forward to it, but well.. for the sake of experience.. hee.. Just realised I’ve to bring lots of things there.. hai.. gotta wait till the next weekend le..

Went back school to pay the administrative fees for the Hostel Application. Sort of a wasted trip, couldn’t collect the keys today, else have to pay the fees for a quarter of December. And the staff @ SAO was so rude, expecting us to know everything. #$%&^%@#$%^&

With the constant updating on the recent tsunami, I just couldn’t believe that it actually happened. Numerous people have died, including 3 from Singapore & millions from Indonesia. Singapore survived this disaster due to her geographical location. I feel so blessed to be able to sit here as if nothing has happened. My deep condolences to those who are affected by the tsunami.

Just checked my email, I’ve been allocated a room in Hall 15. Suddenly I felt lost.. I can’t imagine life without my mum around. Though I always complain about her nagging, I can’t imagine how it would be like without her around. I’d have to do everything myself out of my home. That sounds sad.. I’m gonna miss my bed.. How? Happy to have gotten a room, but I’m hestitating whether to take up the offer or not.

Hestitating..

Hestitating..

Hestitating..