Reflections & Resolutions

Year 2008 is coming to an end in less than an hour’s time.

1.5 years ago, I was fresh out from NTU, full of hype and energy.

1.5 years down the road, today, I’m just like any normal white-collar worker – every day is just another working day.

I’ve grown matured? Probably so. In some ways. Work is my priority now, to clear my debts as soon as I can. Can’t wait for the day when I’m debt-free.

Career
Working in an avertising agency, I’ve seen different kinds of clients. Nice ones. Stingy ones.  Crazy ones. You name it, we have it. With the economic crisis now, we’re seeing more of we-want-more-than-what-we’re-paying clients. How pissed I get, I have to bear with it. For the sake of the rice bowl.

Over the year, I felt like I’ve not contributed much to the company. Almost screwed up one project – and that’s because the client was pretty unreasonable. I’m thankful my boss understands. Determined to do my part well, I’m being arrowed to do web2.0 projects – which I’m supposedly to be good at but isn’t. Trying my best to do it well this time, hoping this project will help the company win the upcoming pitch.

I feel my worth. Each of us has our own strengths. And there’s more that I need to learn.

Friends
Over the past 1.5 years, I’m seeing less of my girlfriends. Yet the friendship has gone another step forward. I’m treasuring them now, really glad to have met them in school. Thanks girls for being there!

And there’s this group of buddies, we don’t meet up as often as we should have done, but the friendship is still going strong. Badminton sessions, ktvs, mahjong, dinners. The group where I’m one whom many have not seen. Having known them for 15years now, it’s a friendship that’s hard to get. They’ve seen me through ups and downs, shared many laughters and sorrows. A group where I usually get what I want – that’s ‘coz I’m the only girl. Nevertheless, thank you guys for putting up with me when I’m being unreasonable at times. You know who you are. Thank you!

I may not be the best friend that you have, but I’ll try to be the best listener around. I may not have fared well as a friend, but I’ll try to improve myself. I may have taken you for granted, I’ll try to change that in myself.

Have met new friends in the past few months, they’ve changed my definition of friends. I’m grateful for their companion online – on plurk especially, for they’re the ones who brought laughter when I’m down. The crazy bunch of people really knows how to cheer people up. Thanks guys!

Love
Been pretty stagnant, there’s nothing to update. Already getting used to people asking – are you attached? when are you getting married?

Seeing friends getting married, I’m feeling happy for them. Envious yes, but there shouldn’t be any rush.

Health

Generally health is pretty ok, I won’t say it’s going downhill – with the many diarrhoeas that I’d been complaining about. Generally I’m fine. *repeats after myself*

Wealth
This is something that I seriously lack discipline in. I’m bad at managing my own finances, that’s why I’m glad I have my mum around. hahaha

I think I’m pretty much done. 2008 had been quite smooth-sailing (?).

With 2009 coming in 10mins time, I’m supposed to have some resolutions listed out? Jiawen says I look like a motivated person with resolutions?!

So here goes!

– re-learn Japanese with Miyuki-san

– save enough to go Taiwan with family in June

– change in wardrobe

3 is enough to keep me busy for the year I guess. We shall see if they really happen.

Meanwhile, Happy New Year! Wishing you a blessed new year and good health for the year ahead!

Christmas is the season for love

I don’t know where I got the this from, but it came to my mind when I was thinking of a title for this entry.

I actually wanted to do a reflections entry, but seeing that I might not be able to finish it before I doze off, I saved that as draft until I’m in a more sober mode.

So what’s for now?? I wanted to do some serious blogging, but the mood always get dampened somehow.

I always have ideas on what to blog about, even to the extent of forming the sentences mentally, when I’m BUSY at work. But when I really sit down and try to blog, I’ve no inspirations. Sigh.

Even so, I have to blog! Else what am I paying the hosting-fee-for-this-domain for? Heh!

I must say though, my life changed – a little if not a lot – when I joined Plurk. For the uninitiated,

Plurk is a free social networking and micro-blogging service that allows users to send updates (otherwise known as plurks) through short messages or links

It is a noun, yet a verb at the same time, adapted from the plurk site.

Noun. plurk (plüer-kh) – A really snazzy site that allows you to showcase the events that make up your life in deliciously digestible chunks. Low in fat, 5 calories per serving, yet chock full of goodness.

Verb. plurk (plüer-kh) – To chronicle the events of your always on, action-packed, storybook, semi-charmed kinda life.

Hmm enough said.

I joined plurk, coz I wanted to be in the “clique” in office, with many of my colleagues from the Accounts Servicing dept in plurkville. And since uncle Brian was leaving us, plurk’s one way of keeping in contact with him, back then.

And so, few weeks later, I found out by chance that a university aquaintence is on plurk too! Through him, I got to know many other plurkers , whom I got to know personally due to the many plurk outings.

Ha.. some sparks did fly. But isn’t it common when you’re meeting people for the first time? There’s this sudden feel of attraction? I dunno, have been out of a relationship for 3 years now. And like what I’ve been repeating what-seems-like-forever, that fateful episode 3 years back left such a huge impact that I’m being cautious now. Once bitten twice shy. I can talk about it like it’s no big deal, but I’d been so severely hurt that all confidence has been lost. So when sparks flew, I ran away.

I can never differentiate now, whether it’s just lust or attraction. Better to be safe than sorry, as the saying goes.

3 more years before I hit the big 3. I am still looking for the one, but I’m still scared. I’ve not entirely recovered from the depression – there are still some times when I feel lost, especially when I’m alone. Life is that fragile.

The thought of the fragility of life made me think of my grandpas. With tears forming in the eyes and falling. I wonder where they are now. Are they having a good life in the other world?

*suddenly realise I went off-track, but still, I miss my grandpas.*

The fragility of life, the comfort-zone that I’m living in now. Am I in a self-denial state? I’ve no wish to step out of my comfort zone at this moment, but I know I have to. Else I’ll never find the one. I’ll never be able to give myself a chance at relationships again. I’ll never be able to trust anyone, again.

Finally, I know I’ve said it before, I’m saying it again.

I need my self-confidence back.

Procrastination

Tons of things I want to write about, but I’ve not been in the mood for blogging for ages.

Plurk has invaded my life. Made many new friends, met up for dinners and photoshoot sessions.. Sparks flew somewhere but didn’t last long.

Been busy with work. Been doing OT for the past 6 weeks, and many more to go. Applied for leave but had to cancel them due to work overload.

I’ve overdue drafts since the company’s retreat, which was 3 months ago. Had no time to edit those photos. Argh.

And I got myself a new laptop, which hasn’t been personalised yet, coz I’d been bringing the work-laptop home almost every day.

Back from Henry’s wedding. No girls from the class went, I’m the representative as usual. Thanks guys for reminding me what you all did when we were still in sec 1. Seriously I’ll never forget that. Hahahhaha

Time for a break. The eye’s irritating me again. I think it’s the contact lens. 🙁 I must visit the optician tomorrow.

范逸臣 – 国境之南

如果海會說話 如果風愛上砂
如果 有些想念遺忘在漫長的長假

我會聆聽浪花 讓風吹過頭髮
任記憶裡的愛情在時間潮汐裡喧嘩

非得等春天遠了夏天才近了
我是在回首時終於懂得(也許天氣永遠會那麼熱)

當陽光再次回到那 飄著雨的國境之南
我會試著把那一年的故事 再接下去說完

當陽光再次離開那 太晴朗的國境之南
妳會不會把妳曾帶走的愛 在告別前用微笑全歸還

海很藍 星光燦爛 我仍空著我的臂彎
天很寬 在我獨自唱歌的夜晚
請原諒我的愛 訴說的太緩慢

當陽光再次回到那 飄著雨的國境之南
我會試著把那一年的故事 再接下去說完

當陽光再次離開那 太晴朗的國境之南
妳會不會把妳曾帶走的愛 在告別前用微笑全歸還

The Phone

Lost my phone last fri, bought new phone ytd, won a phone today. Will I get back my old phone this xmas?

Bloggers’ Calender 2009 Photoshoot

Despite reaching late.. I had a good time at the photoshoot! Great company, great jokes.

The many laughter are a rare find, given that most of us know one another online.

Thanks guys & gals for the fun this afternoon!

Can’t wait for the calendar to be published!

Post edit: photos from the shoot won’t be released before the calendar is out. So I guess we’ve got to wait till end of the month.

Many thanks to PatLaw & willyfoo for the idea and LiveStudios for the venue!

Lost phone

Sigh.. I’m feeling damn sad now. Lost without my phone, though my phone seldom rings.

Took cab home. Driver was a little bit impatient at the traffic light at office area (supposed to turn right) and he turned left, taking the route along Nicoll Highway to KPE to PIE. I got a pissed coz he was going one big round. Took out my phone to plurk. (thankfully thou, he stopped the metre way before we reached my house).

And yours truly left the phone on her lap after plurking.

When I alighted, I heard a thud sound actually. Checked the cab, saw nothing, and I closed the door. Few steps away, I felt something amiss. Checked my hand – no phone. Quickly checked my bag – no phone. SHIT! Turned back, tried to catch the driver’s attention before he drives away. Too late. Without much thinking, I quickly made my way home, got my mum to call my mobile.

Called taxi HQ, reported cab number, while trying to call my mobile at the same time.

Stood by the kitchen window. Then! I saw something shiny on the road (carpark)! Asked my sis if she can do me a favour. Think she was tired from her camp, she didn’t actually reply me. So I thought nvm..

Just then, a white van drove over to where the shiny object is. Driver alighted, picked it up and drove to the other side of the carpark and parked. (I could see from my kitchen window) And at this time, I saw the taxi driver drove in and starting to search the cab.

Yes! Someone answered the phone! Happily asked my brother to run to the van while I try to stall the person who took the phone. But the person didn’t speak! Blardy hell! I was so anxious already and you don’t want to say anything?!?!

Just as my brother reached first floor, the van driver drove off! WTF! Subsequet calls were not answered. wah kao!!!!

Just at this time, the taxi HQ called back and say the driver couldn’t find the phone. I felt so pai seh! Coz after hanging up the phone, the taxi driver still searched a few more times! I went downstairs wanting to thank him, but he drove off just as I reached first floor.

Sigh. I dunno if I should be happy or sad. Had been complaining over the past few days about my phone. Contemplating if I should sell it off and buy another one instead. Just “nice” I drop it? Argh!

My phone is just 1 mth old! Bought it on 3rd Nov only! =(