Becoming a Masters

As I make slight progress towards my 8 year goal, steps have been made in place. Have shortlisted a few courses to take:

When will I be taking them, depends on my availability.. Definitely not this year, with the start of a new job (yes I won’t be an unemployed soon!) and the continuation of the current 4 students’ tuition and the start of Korean classes, I highly doubt I have time for other activities this year.

It had been a good 2 months break, which allowed me to set lifetime goals, making steps to fulfil lifetime dreams, spending more time to understand myself and what I want in life. I’m glad to say I have moved on ๐Ÿ™‚

Looking forward to the new phase of life next month!

The next phase in life

The subject doesn’t mean I am getting married (and no, I am not planning for it to be an April Fool’s joke too!). It’s just that at this current stage in life, I am looking at other plans on what I want to do with what remains of my life.

The good thing about being self-employed, is that I have tons of me-time. For the first time since I started schooling, this must be the longest break I’ve taken. This gave me the time to sit down and ponder what I want to achieve. While I have yet come to a conclusion of what I really want, it seems like my career path has changed tremendously. 6 years in the private sector, I won’t say it’s long – considering there are people who can be in the same job for more than 10 years. 6 years is enough for me to grow up at a horrifying speed.

I saw how cruel work life can be, by the name of politics. People say the way to outwit them is to join them, but I prefer to suffer silently. That’s how and what I am. Never one to step up and protect myself. I know the disadvantage yet I find it hard to do it.

I also saw how slow money earning is as a salaried worker. Which got me thinking – is this what I really want? I now have lots of ideas. Slowly taking one step at a timeย , I want to make them come to life! It will take a while, but I do think I can succeed. If I push myself further, I’m confident I can!

Who says resolutions can be made only when a new year comes? My new resolution, is not to be the one who has lost confidence in herself. While I try to find back the passion I used to have for blogging and photography, I might discover more of myself!

Yes that is it! I shall remain as positive as I can!

Enjoy life to its fullest

So i’ve made the decision to throw the white letter ๐Ÿ™‚

Because I’ve got leave days from 2012 which couldn’t be encashed, it was a short notice period of 10 days!

From CNY day 1 till now, it was time well spent. So much so that no words can describe how exactly I am feeling right now.

With sanity back in check, it’s time to work on the next goal. ๐Ÿ˜€

Depression

By chance.. I wanted to spend some time reading up on blog posts of my social media friends.

Unintentionally, I found the root cause for 2012. DEPRESSION. Thanks to Vic’s blogpost.

Was looking through the symptoms of depression and thought why the symptoms all looked so familiar. A year it was with me, not too late to detect it now.

2013 will be good. Yes it will!

2012 and resolutions for 2013

Every start of the year since 2010, I’ve been wanting to do a summary of the year post. Busyness took over the thought of it, unfortunately.

I had a post in 2010, summarising the year 2009. Couldn’t remember why it remained as draft. I should just publish the post, for the content reminded me why I loved social media back then, and how much fun I had. It also reminded me why I loved my job.

So I came up with a determination to do a summary for 2012/2011, despite it being mid-February-2013 now. Better late than never!

2009, in summary, was a year I got introduced to social media as a blogger.

2010, in summary, was a year I had LOTS of fun being a blogger.

2011 was a year I learnt how to play politics, simply because I was a victim and I needed to get out of it. Nevertheless, it was also a year I went on my first plane trip (to Korea!) and also my first business trip (which was my first solo plane trip too!). Also the year where I got posted to HK for work for several months. It was a tough 2nd-half year, with a work-project that had a steep learning curve. But I had fun due to the many firsts. First time experiencing winter, first time being away from home for such a long time.. And it’s also when I had to disappear from the blogging scene ‘coz I was far away from homeland..

2012. A year of ups and downs. The overseas posting worn me out. What came in multiples – politics, arrows. What came in negatives – sleep, enjoyment, passion. The year was very tough at work, with the multiples that came and the negatives that I didn’t have. Whatever passion I had was killed this year – passion towards work, passion towards social media, passion towards blogging, passion towards photography. All killed by the word “work”. No I’m not kidding. It was that bad. 2012 was a year I lost my passion for everything. I became a ่กŒๅฐธ่ตฐ่‚‰ (corpse that walked) – everything I did was done by routine, it was done simply because it had to be done. There was no life injected in what was done.

There were a few takeaways for the year though!

  • Completed my first Standard Chartered 10km run walk!
  • Made so many plane trips that I”m very familiar with airport procedures, both in HKG & SIN
  • Got very familiar with 3-char country codes due to the nature of the project
  • Despite the many plane trips, the passport remained empty coz I used the express queue for residents (which is something that I missed!)
  • Made some good friends in HK!
  • Made a virgin trip to Taiwan!

And that pretty much sums up 2012.

Every start of the year since 2010, I’ve been also wanting to do a resolution for the new year post. “Resolutions don’t work for me” won the thought, unfortunately.

This year, however, I decided to set some goals for myself to achieve. Reachable goals.

  • Have a more balanced work-life (which I have already achieved by making the first step of throwing the white letter)
  • Take TOPIK exam (Korean)
  • Take JLPT N4
  • Take a good break and let the body recuperate (Planta Facitiis is back to haunt me after so many years)
  • Revive some passion for photography & blogging!

Will these goals be reached? We shall see my determination!

The next immediate thing that I need to do.. is to start processing those photos that I have taken over the past years and upload them..

Life is all about balancing on the seesaw

A random thought came across my mind when I saw Hock Chuan’s post on Facebook.

HC was my student advisor during my Temasek Poly days, when I was part of the Community Service Club. Me being me, I respect all my teachers ‘coz I’ve always thought that they being seniors in life, will have their reasons for doing what they do to us. Innocent thought it was, for someone who had no real experience in life other than a smooth 16 years of education under the comfort of the parents’ shelter.

Many years down the road, I’ve grown to really respect him as a mentor. For someone who had his fair share of downs – having survived 2 rounds of cancer operations and an unhappy ex-marriage where the other half left when he was first diagnosed with cancer, he has shown us that life is just not about what has happened to us. It is about how we perceived what happened to us.

Which reminds me of this quote that my Sec 1 Science teacher – Miss Tham Suet Ping – wrote in my autograph book:

Happiness isn’t about what happens to us – it’s about how we perceive what happens to us. It’s the knack of finding a positive for every negative, and viewing a setback as a challenge. If we can just stop wishing for what we don’t have, and start enjoying what we do have, our lives can be richer, more filfilled and happier. The time to be happy is NOW ~

HC has demonstrated very well of the quote above. He emerged as a stronger person from the downs. How do I know? From his Facebook posts. ๐Ÿ™‚ Lengthy yes, and I am guilty of not reading word for word, but when I had the time to read friends’ posts, his posts are always inspiring. For it’s about him sharing his experiences and reflections about life.

Never once did his posts fail to make me reflect on my own life. Many a times I almost succumb to the challenges I was facing. Then I will be reminded that there are others who could be worse off than me. Also inspired by HC that all challenges come to you for a reason. If you are able to overcome it, you will definitely emerge as a stronger you.

My role model in life, I can never be as positive as him but I will try. ๐Ÿ™‚

Footnote: I could have titled this as A Tribute To HC ๐Ÿ˜€

ๆˆ‘ไปฌ็ญ‰ไฝ !

ๆˆ‘ไปฌ็ญ‰ไฝ !

ใ€Žๆˆ‘ไปฌ็ญ‰ไฝ !ใ€is a local production that portrays the lives of students of Brilliante Secondary School – a school that accepts students who have failed PSLE at least twice.

Students who perform badly in schools, students who keep going in/out ofย reformatoryย centres are not necessarily bad in nature.

There is this Chinese saying that goes ใ€Žไบบไน‹ๅˆใ€ๆ€งๆœฌๅ–„ใ€. Everyone is born with a good nature. It is the environment that we grow up in that molds our character.

Most are forced by circumstances, and have no proper guidance. Quoting from the show –ย ใ€Žๆˆ‘ไปฌๆ‰€็ขฐๅˆฐ็š„๏ผŒไธๆ˜ฏ้—ฎ้ข˜ๅญฆ็”Ÿ๏ผŒ่€Œๆ˜ฏ้—ฎ้ข˜็ˆถๆฏใ€. Some of the kids portrayed in the drama come from single parent families, some with parents with mental disorder etc. I feel heartache for these kids for they can’t choose which family to be born into. Yet in such circumstances, they have to fight for their own survival – sometimes just to catch the attention from adults.

In this civilised country of ours,ย these are the people who go around being unnoticed. Generally termed as bad kids. Yet all they need is more understanding and patience to guide them back to the proper path or some sorts.

This show, just like any hospital shows, gave me a sudden inspiration to join the teaching profession (again!). But the show has too-simplified the teaching life of the teachers (as feedback by my teacher-friends) that it (unfortunately) gives false impressions to teachers-to-be. Nevertheless, if you have the passion and patience, why not? :p

Moving on part 2

So I made the first step, and I got it. But rejected it ultimately. If this goes on, I can never move on.,

I have a dream – Goose’s dream

First heard this song in the Kpop drama – Dream High (Episode 14) (or maybe I have the SuJu’s version, can’t remember..), and I googled. This is the original version (I think!) and I think it’s nicer!

๋‚œ ๋‚œ ๊ฟˆ์ด ์žˆ์—ˆ์ฃ 
๋ฒ„๋ ค์ง€๊ณ  ์ฐข๊ฒจ ๋‚จ๋ฃจํ•˜์—ฌ๋„
๋‚ด ๊ฐ€์Šด ๊นŠ์ˆ™ํžˆ ๋ณด๋ฌผ๊ณผ ๊ฐ™์ด ๊ฐ„์งํ–ˆ๋˜ ๊ฟˆ

ํ˜น ๋•Œ๋ก  ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€๊ฐ€
๋œป ๋ชจ๋ฅผ ๋น„์›ƒ์Œ ๋‚ด ๋“ฑ๋’ค์— ํ˜๋ฆด ๋•Œ๋„
๋‚œ ์ฐธ์•„์•ผ ํ–ˆ์ฃ  ์ฐธ์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์—ˆ์ฃ 
๊ทธ๋‚ ์„ ์œ„ํ•ด

๋Š˜ ๊ฑฑ์ •ํ•˜๋“ฏ ๋งํ•˜์ฃ 
ํ—›๋œ ๊ฟˆ์€ ๋…์ด๋ผ๊ณ 
์„ธ์ƒ์€ ๋์ด ์ •ํ•ด์ง„ ์ฑ…์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ
์ด๋ฏธ ๋Œ์ดํ‚ฌ ์ˆ˜ ์—†๋Š” ํ˜„์‹ค์ด๋ผ๊ณ 

(chorus)
๊ทธ๋ž˜์š” ๋‚œ ๋‚œ ๊ฟˆ์ด ์žˆ์–ด์š”
๊ทธ ๊ฟˆ์„ ๋ฏฟ์–ด์š”.๋‚˜๋ฅผ ์ง€์ผœ๋ด์š”
์ € ์ฐจ๊ฐ‘๊ฒŒ ์„œ ์žˆ๋Š” ์šด๋ช…์ด๋ž€ ๋ฒฝ์•ž์—
๋‹น๋‹นํžˆ ๋งˆ์ฃผ์น  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์–ด์š”

์–ธ์  ๊ฐ€ ๋‚˜ ๊ทธ๋ฒฝ์„ ๋„˜๊ณ ์„œ
์ € ํ•˜๋Š˜์„ ๋†’์ด ๋‚ ์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์–ด์š”
์ด ๋ฌด๊ฑฐ์šด ์„ธ์ƒ๋„ ๋‚˜๋ฅผ ๋ฌถ์„ ์ˆœ ์—†์ฃ 
๋‚ด ์‚ถ์˜ ๋์—์„œ
๋‚˜ ์›ƒ์„ ๊ทธ๋‚ ์„ ํ•จ๊ป˜ํ•ด์š”

Translated lyrics

I have a dream
Even if it is shredded or torn,
In my heart,
Iโ€™ve cherished it like a treasure

Even if Iโ€™m mocked behind my back,
Iโ€™ve endured
I could stand it,
waiting for that day

You always say worriedly,
Foolish dreams are poisonous
Just like the world is a book with a fixed ending,
itโ€™s a reality that canโ€™t be turned back

Yes, I have a dream
I believe in that dream,
Watch and see
In front of that cold brick wall called fate
I can stand confidently

One day, Iโ€™ll climb over that wall
Iโ€™ll be able to fly as high as the sky
Even this heavy world canโ€™t tie me down
At the end of my life,
on that day that makes me smile
Be with me

14th May

Not that this date is anything significant, but I couldn’t think of a more suitable title as there just wasn’t any particular topic that I want to write about.

Time just passes so fast when work had been keeping me extremely busy – with a record breaking of 2hrs sleep every night for consecutive 2 weeks.

Many milestones of the project to be met, not to mention the manyย deliverablesย tagged to each of it.

April was a month of 6-workday weeks. Life was horrendous, being in office throughout the long weekends. I was already deadbeat when Sunday came, that I couldn’t be bothered to venture out of Tungchung. Sleep was priority in the list.

Good life of more-decent-work-hours didn’t last long, before the project manager declared 6-workday week again, with effect from this week.

I kept being told, official work day means extra allowance. But I tell you, it just doesn’t matter anymore. If my rest hours can be compensated with monetary gains, I must have had endless energy that surpasses machines!

All I can wish for now, is for this stint to end soon. I can do with a break. The leaf that I posses, had been living with the snowman for so long that it doesn’t have any warmth now.

The leaf that lives with the snowman
The leaf that lives with the snowman