你 不是真正的快樂 by Mayday

人 群中 哭著  你只想變成透明的顏色
你再也不會夢 或痛  或心動了
你已經決定了  你已經決定了

你 靜靜 忍著  緊緊把昨天在拳心握著
而回憶越是甜 就是  越傷人了
越是在 手心留下 密密麻麻 深深淺淺 的刀割

  你不是真正的快樂  你的笑只是你穿的保護色
  你決定不恨了  也決定不愛了
  把你的靈魂關在永遠鎖上的軀殼

這 世界 笑了  於是妳合群的一起笑了
當生存是規則 不是 你的選擇
於是妳 含著眼淚 飄飄盪盪 跌跌撞撞 的走著

  你不是真正的快樂  你的笑只是你穿的保護色
  你決定不恨了  也決定不愛了
  把你的靈魂關在永遠鎖上的軀殼

  你不是真正的快樂  你的傷從不肯完全的癒合
  我站在你左側  卻像隔著銀河
  難道就真的抱著遺憾一直到老了 然後才後悔著

     你值得真正的快樂  你應該脫下你穿的保護色
     為什麼失去了  還要被懲罰呢
     能不能就讓 悲傷全部 結束在此刻 重新開始活著

I know..

Yes I know.. I’ve not been posting regularly these days. The last proper update was one month ago.

But there are times I want to blog, yet was feeling lazy. Lack of motivation to edit the photos taken during company’s Away Day.

As usual in almost all my posts, many thoughts came but difficult to pen them down. Just not my style to blog about stuff that are too personal, or stuff that might spoil the very-nice-girl-next-door image that many of you have of me.

Have been clearing leave, since they can’t be brought forward to next year. I thought these 5 days was a good break. Really had the chance to relax, popped by lele’s house coz I missed him, fixed some pieces of the jigsaw puzzle that I bought 6 years back, cleared more episodes of a show that I’m currently watching. Spent the whole sunday night till this morning 6am helping friend with his school assignment. Felt tired but it was a good feeling. How I wish real life applications are as easy as those assignments.

Managed to have a good chat with the friend as well, another friend whom we seldom meet but yet still able to chat and discuss on issues I don’t usually do with others. Feels good. It’s like the burden being lightened.

Reflections done over the past 5 days as well. If I’ve not been a good friend, or a good cousin, don’t tell me. Haha.. I know I’m not a good sister, so there’s no need to add on to the list.

I’ve come to terms that life is really fragile. Finally gotten out of the depression period, something which I wouldn’t want to go through again. Six months of torture is enough. No more!

All I want now, is for the small boy to be able to have a smooth transition as he embarks on his new journey to primary school. It had been tough persuading him to wear his hearing aid, now that he’s used to it, next step is to help him cope with school. I know we can do it. He can do it. Coz he’s loved by all of us.

Enough rantings for now. Time to get ready for work tomorrow.