I seriously have no idea what to update on. Sudden lost in my own world, especially when I’m too broke to be out of house and stuck with mapling for the last few days.
The saying of ‘bad things always happen at the same time’ is so true. First the fall, then the ‘flown aeroplane’ by my sup made me waste my day in school doing NOTHING while WAITING and left school WITHOUT meeting sup, a ‘brand new’ laptop with just 40GB worth of space and needs TONS of tidying up of data, going school to continue FYP but lab’s Matlab does not have the toolbox that I need (meaning my already-half-dead laptop has to be used for running Matlab again), .. the list goes on ..
The sweet dream this morning brought back memories. Dreamt that I am together with a crush of mine long ago. = Reality struck when I realised that wasn’t in real life. lol. Don’t really remember the dream now, except that I still remember who the crush was =) Sweet.
Laptop needs lots of tidying up as mentioned, so probably photos taken during Mothers’ Day won’t be up so fast. I need more time especially when I’ve got FYP to work on. Enhancements that licensed copy of Matlab in school does not have what I need. = And it is a tedious affair to request for a trial copy from MathWorks, since it isn’t available for student’s version.
Things that happen in life happens for a reason. Need time to sort out my thoughts, my directions in life. I should be able to graduate this semester, since I know I will pass the module that I’m most afraid of =D Hence the recent ‘enthusiasm’ in job seeking. But the more jobs I see / applied for, the more lost I am. First time I’m lost ever since poly days. When graduating from poly, there’s uni to look forward to. And being young and innocent at that time, I got a job at my vice-principal’s company pretty easily, even before I got my final sem results. The confidence at that time is now lost. Academic wise, I know I’m not good in uni studies. Work wise, ppl around me are much better at selling themselves to the companies. I lost out to them simply because I lost that important self-confidence. That aside, I find no motivation now, after completing uni studies. What to look forward to? Masters? PHD? I will die from more studies. I have a Masters in mind, something I’m interested in, but the jobs that I’m looking at now, none is in that industry. Not related at all. So the question in short is, just what do I really want? Prolly I can only give it a serious thought when my FYP is fully complete.
Guess I’m feeling down now due to too much crying while watching the show 1 Litre of Tears. I didn’t rewatch, this is the movie version. Lots of details left out, but still sad enough. Eyes swollen & having headache now. Normal for me, but I can’t sleep well! =
I should sleep. I miss my bed.