I need a break

I’ve not been blogging as faithfully as I want to, but plurk has taken over my life now. Most of my social events now are plurk related. It can get really fun, when you meet new people at every outing. But it brings me to this thought, what about my other friends? Plurk friends are so spontaneous that you can organise a mini outing at the last minute. Somewhere somehow people will turn up.

I really miss my other friends so much. Just feel so lonely at times, gfs are sometimes too busy for heart-to-heart talks. And many times I need a listening ear, knowing that I use the internet (read: MSN) as my main communication tool, gfs are not online. I know I’m better at communicating online, coz I have the time to think how to reply. The brain’s pretty slow at digesting information when chatting face-to-face realtime. Sometimes I just feel like I’m a loser somehow.

I need an offline life. But I suck totally at it.

Plurk is actually quite an addictive thing. I hv the window open the moment I startup the laptop (both work & personal), with MSN being the first or vice versa. I’m happy reading “friends”‘s plurks sometimes, but recently I’ve been muting most of them, coz Plurk is so distracting that it’s affecting my work.

I need to kick this addiction, somehow.

Work has gotten me so busy I don’t feel like attending social events anymore. But the thought of “I’ve not met them for a long time” forced me to attend. Or when the attendees mention that it’s hard to organise gatherings. It’s so hard to turn them down. I really didn’t wish to attend. Plus it’s the pre-CNY period now, I’ve lots of things that I need to do at home – though usually I’ll end up in my room, staring at the plurk screen.

I feel bad enough for my mum to nag nonstop. I’m really really tired from work (but, who isn’t?). I didn’t want dad to do so much of the cleaning, when we could have easily done them ourselves. I want to be a filial one, but I’m too hooked to the internet (Plurk). Shit. Things that no one knows, and no one understands coz I don’t voice it out. I just feel so terrible coz I’m expected to do this and that.

Plus recently I’ve been visiting the doc so often. The sinus – something which I didn’t have before – is causing the blocked nose and the sore throat and the phelgm. 3 visits to the doc within 1 month. Going for a follow-up visit again next week.  I cannot stand those pills. Always have a phobia for them – the feeling of wanting to puke. I seldom puke, but I did tonight. The feeling’s super terrible. The smell seems to linger around (or is it purely psychological?) even though I’ve washed myself TWICE. =(

I’m feeling so tired. Really tired. Looking for the long break next week. Took 3 days off. Boss was asking me if I intend to cancel the leave since my trip is cancelled. I told him my exact feeling – I need a break from work. With a colleague leaving, I’m taking over 3 of her projects (one shared, and 2 fully-owned by me now) on top of my existing project. Feeling too overwhelmed with the workload now. Though I’m on leave next week, I need to work offline. That’s agency life for you. I still have the passion for it, but I need a break somehow.

Much as I really want to blog as regularly as I could, I’m so tired after work that I don’t feel like blogging anymore. If you’ve realised, my recent entries are getting emotional. Too many ups and downs recently. Stuff that are hard to put to the mouth.

I can’t wait for the sinus to be gone (have not researched much on it though). I’m hating the endless cough I get sometimes. I can’t wait for my on-hand projects (4 of them) to be fully completed and launched.

I can’t wait for April to come – that’s when all work is projected to end.

I need a break. Yes I need one.